A new relationship always feels exciting. The charm of getting to know someone, the long conversations over texts, the butterflies, and all the little moments that make you smile for no reason…. It’s all very thrilling, and it feels like you are on cloud nine.
Literally all the time.
You look forward to their texts, their voice, their presence. In the beginning, everything feels perfect, and a part of you wants to believe this might just be it. That you have found your ‘right person’ and your fairy tale is just about to start.
But that’s just the honeymoon phase of a relationship where everything feels fine. Everything feels perfect even when some things don’t sit right. If you notice something that’s not aligning with your values, your future, and even your nervous system, you ignore it.
You tell yourself that you are most probably overthinking because you don’t want to mess things up and, most importantly, because you are afraid of being single. Being alone. Loveless.
And that’s when you make the mistake, the ultimate mistake of ignoring red flags in a relationship, especially at an early stage, just because you crave love and companionship.
Today, we are talking about red flags. I am pretty sure everyone is familiar with this term. But if you are not, let me sum it up for you…
A red flag is basically something that signals a deeper problem. It can be in the way someone talks to you, how they respond when you share something important, or even in the way they treat people around them.
It doesn’t always come as something huge or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s just a weird gut feeling, a strange silence, or a pattern you didn’t expect. But it still counts.
So here are a few red flags people often ignore early in a relationship, but end up regretting later.
1. They Hide Insults Inside Jokes
This is the most important warning sign that so many of us ignore. But I can’t stress enough the importance of ‘respect’ that people should give one another, especially when they are in a romantic relationship.
Your partner is not just another friend of yours that you can throw casual insults at, disguised as jokes. Pay special attention to what kind of jokes a person tells because that’s how you can figure someone out.
You can see what their intellectual level is, what makes them laugh, because that’s a huge giveaway of someone’s character.
I’m not exaggerating, it’s true.
At first, it might sound harmless — their mean little jokes. Jokes that are sometimes inappropriate, cross limits, and are poor in taste. They could be funny comments about your looks, your personality, your career, and your family, and so on.
They tease you about how long it takes you to get ready or mock your laugh in front of their friends. You laugh along too, because you don’t want to look “too sensitive.”
But deep down, something doesn’t feel right and if you bring it up, they say you are being dramatic or that you can’t take a joke.
But here’s the truth: if a joke leaves you feeling small, it’s not funny. It’s a red flag in disguise.
2. You Start Apologising Too Much — Even When It’s Not Your Fault
You say sorry when you ask a simple question and instantly regret it because they make fun of you — even respectfully, but they do.
Or when you just want a bit of their undivided attention, but instead of prioritizing you, they make you think you’re acting all clingy.
When you share your feelings with them about things that upset you, instead of logically reassuring you or correcting their behaviour, they dismiss you.
Over time, you avoid bringing up things and steer clear of confrontation altogether.
These are the early signs we often brush off. The kind that slowly changes how you speak, act, and see yourself.
If any of this sounds familiar, pause for a second. Think. That’s not just you being polite or “easygoing.” That’s them crossing lines under the guise of love.
Notice the pattern. When you constantly shrink yourself to keep someone else comfortable, that’s not love. That’s imbalance. And it chips away at you, slowly.
3. You Always Feel Self-Conscious Around Them
Have you ever caught yourself adjusting your words too carefully, thinking twice before sharing something silly or random, just because you are scared they will judge you?
That’s not normal. That’s not cute. That’s not you being “shy” or “reserved.” That’s your gut telling you something’s off.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel safe being your unfiltered self. You should laugh without overthinking how your face looks. You should be able to share that weird little story from your day without feeling dumb afterward.
But when someone makes you feel like you are too much or not enough all the time, whether through silence, sarcasm, or just subtle body language, you start walking on eggshells around them.
That’s not attraction. That’s anxiety.
Pay attention to how you feel in their presence. If you are constantly editing yourself, that’s not connection. That’s pressure. And honestly? That’s a red flag right there.
4. They Guilt-Trip You for Having a Life Outside Them
At first, it might come off as cute jealousy. They say, “You always have time for your friends, not me,” or “Must be nice to hang out with them more than me.”
You smile. You think it’s sweet. You even feel flattered that they want your time so badly.
But slowly, it starts to sting.
You begin cancelling on plans because you don’t want them to feel bad. You stop talking about your friends so much. You feel guilty for spending time with your family, for working late, for taking time for yourself.
And guess what? They never have to say it outright. It’s the passive comments, the mood shifts, the guilt in their tone that do the job.
Before you know it, your world starts shrinking.
If someone truly loves you, they would want you to have a life beyond them. They would celebrate your friendships, your hobbies, your independence. Love doesn’t cage you; it lets you breathe.
So, if you feel like you are being made to choose between your relationship and everything else that matters to you… pause. That’s not love. That’s control wrapped in guilt.
5. They Avoid Accountability — It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault
Ever noticed how some people never take responsibility for anything?
It’s always someone else’s fault. Their ex was “crazy,” their boss is “toxic,” their friends are “jealous,” and somehow every little thing that goes wrong in their life just happens to them, never because of them.
Now, at first, you might sympathize. You might even feel protective. You think, “They’ve just been through a lot.” But give it a little time. Start noticing the pattern.
Every time there’s a misunderstanding, a disagreement, or even a small issue, somehow it becomes your fault.
They twist the situation. Gaslight you. Make you feel like you misunderstood or overreacted. And slowly, you begin to doubt yourself. You question your own memory, your tone, your reactions.
That’s not emotional maturity. That’s manipulation, whether it’s intentional or not. And it’s a big red flag.
A person who can’t take accountability in the early stages won’t magically develop it later. If they can’t own their part in small things now, they won’t handle the big stuff in a long-term relationship either.
And trust me, love without accountability leads straight to resentment.
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What are some early red flags you have noticed in relationships? Share your thoughts with us.