Healing isn’t always easy, and it does not happen quickly. The path towards healing is NOT linear, and it definitely isn’t a short path. Sometimes, we tell ourselves things that hold us back from moving forward without even realizing it.

These thoughts can feel true in the moment, but they don’t actually help us heal – they just make it worse.

We all do it. We tell ourselves lies like “I should be over this by now” or “It’s my fault.” These ideas seem harmless but can trap us in a cycle of guilt, shame, and frustration.

The truth is that healing takes time. It’s messy, slow, and looks different for everyone. You need to consistently make small efforts to move forward.

So, let’s talk about the lies that keep us stuck and why it’s time to let go of them.

1. “I Should Be Over This by Now”

One thing you need to tell yourself is that healing isn’t something you can rush. Just because a lot of time has passed doesn’t mean the pain should go away, too. Some wounds take longer to heal, and that’s completely okay.

Everybody heals at their own pace – some people are emotionally strong and get over losses quickly, others do not. But that does not make them weak – only human. We’re all different.

You’re not failing just because you’re still struggling. You’re human. So, if you are pressuring yourself to “move on” by some imaginary deadline, STOP!

2. “It’s All My Fault”

This is one of the harshest lies we tell ourselves. Blaming yourself for something that hurt you, especially if someone else caused the pain. It’s not your fault; if you keep thinking that way, it will only delay the healing process and getting over it.

It keeps you stuck in shame that does not even belong to you.

Let go of the guilt that isn’t yours to carry. Things may have gone wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s all on you. Take what’s yours to learn from that painful experience, and leave the rest. Move on. You’re allowed to grow without punishing yourself.

3. “I Deserve What Happened to Me”

No one deserves to be hurt, manipulated, or treated badly. Sometimes, we convince ourselves that maybe we had it coming, that what happened was somehow our fault. Maybe we were too much, or maybe not enough. But this mindset is toxic and unfair to your own self.

Just because someone mistreated you or didn’t see your worth doesn’t mean you deserved it. That says more about them than it ever will about you.

You deserve kindness, love, and respect. Even from yourself. Especially from yourself.

4. “Talking About It Makes Me Weak”

Vulnerability is not weakness. Talking about what broke you is actually how you start to heal. You don’t have to share your story with everyone but don’t bottle it up, thinking that staying silent makes you stronger.

Because it will not, it will only build up a storm inside you, and there will come a time when you won’t be able to handle it anymore. That’s when the breakdown happens.

Let it out – all of it. Whether through journaling, venting to a friend, or getting therapy, ask for help from the people you trust.

That release? That’s power, not weakness.

5. “I Have to Heal Alone”

You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. Healing doesn’t mean isolating yourself or pretending you’re fine. People who care about you want to be there for you, but they won’t know how unless you let them in.

Asking for support is not a sign of helplessness. It’s a sign of strength. You have to make intentional efforts to ask for help and let other people support you.

It could be a support group, a community, a trustworthy friend, or a family member – share. Let people show up for you.

6. “If I Ignore It, It’ll Go Away”

The biggest lie you tell yourself. You can distract yourself, stay busy, and avoid the thoughts, but the pain doesn’t just vanish. It needs to be treated. Just like you care for physical wounds, the emotional ones need attention, too.

Healing only begins when you stop running from what hurt you and actually start facing it.

It might be uncomfortable, even painful, but that’s the only way through. Suppressing feelings just makes them louder in the long run. Give yourself the space to feel and deal.

Final Thoughts:

Healing isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a journey, and it doesn’t always go in a straight line. Some days you will feel like you are moving forward, and others, it will feel like you’re stuck. But remember, it’s okay to take your time.

Just don’t let the lies you tell yourself hold you back. You deserve to heal, and that starts with letting go of the things that weigh you down. You don’t have to do it alone, and it’s okay to ask for help.