Love — it’s a simple yet complicated feeling. We all love people in our lives: family, friends, children, spouse, but the kind of love we’re talking about today is romantic love. The kind you feel for that one person who means the world to you. The one you yearn for, the one your heart belongs to.
Unfortunately, not everyone receives that kind of love in return. Sometimes, even if you’re in a relationship with the person you love, your feelings aren’t fully seen or returned. You give your all, but still feel like something’s missing. Your efforts go unnoticed, your needs brushed aside, and slowly you start to wonder if you’re being taken for granted.
Today, we’ll talk about the signs, the small but telling things that might mean you’re being taken for granted by someone you deeply care about.
What Does It Mean to Be Taken for Granted?
A relationship always takes two people to form, and both need to put in mutual effort, love, and sincerity for it to truly work. But that’s not always how it goes. Sometimes, one partner gives more — more love, more loyalty, more effort — and ends up being the one who gets hurt or disappointed, simply because the other person doesn’t even try to meet them halfway.
It hurts deeply. And it’s one of the most bitter, lonely feelings in the world. That’s what being taken for granted feels like. When your partner stops appreciating your presence, stops noticing your effort, and starts acting like they’re entitled to the love and care you give. They assume you’ll always be there no matter how they treat you.
And despite their lack of effort or even their hurtful behavior, they believe your love will never run out.
1. They Stop Noticing Your Efforts
The first thing a person does when they start taking you for granted is they stop noticing the things you do for them, whether big or small. For example, you cook a nice meal for them, and instead of appreciating your effort or simply saying thank you, they eat and act like it’s your job to cook for them, clean up after them, or support them during tough times.
They start assuming it’s your duty to do all these things, while they don’t even notice — let alone acknowledge — your care or the energy you put in.
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2. They Never Say Thank You
This one is in correlation with the first one — when your partner doesn’t notice your efforts, they automatically don’t say thank you either. Because, well, they see no reason to be grateful for the things you do or the way you take care of them.
For example, you clean the house, pick up the kids from school, help them meet a deadline, or handle things when they’re overwhelmed — and still, not a single thank you.
For some people, saying ‘thank you’ may seem like a formality. I’ve even heard couples say they don’t say ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you’ in their relationship because they believe partners shouldn’t have to. Well, I certainly disagree. Saying ‘thank you’ might seem small, but it carries a great deal of weight.
When your partner stops saying it altogether, it’s a sign they’ve stopped valuing your presence and the effort you put in. Whether it’s emotional support, everyday tasks, or just being there for them, they often act as if they’re owed that kindness instead of being grateful for it.
3. You’re Always the One Initiating Everything
As I’ve said before, it always takes two people to be in a relationship. But if the effort is only coming from one side, how could that ever be an ideal partnership?
For example, you’re the one who remembers all the important dates — birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones — while they don’t. You know their favorite dish, color, TV show, movie, and even the vehicle they love, but they don’t even know yours. You’re the one planning meetups, surprises, parties, and dates.
You text first, check in, and basically keep the whole connection alive.
It’s like you’re the only one steering the wheel of the relationship. And deep down, you know that if you stopped trying, they wouldn’t make the effort either.
That’s how you know that you’re being taken for granted.
4. They Don’t Make Time for You
When someone loves you and cares about you, the first thing they do is make time for you. Yes, time is of the essence, and people who value you will make sure they spend it with you, not just to be around but to make you feel cherished, heard, and cared for.
However, if your partner doesn’t make time for you, forgets important dates, always seems to have an excuse, or prioritizes other things and other people over you, that clearly implies they take you and the relationship for granted.
5. They Show Little to No Interest in You
When someone is genuinely in love with you, they’re naturally curious about your world — your thoughts, your opinions, how your day went, and what’s going on in your life. They ask questions, listen attentively, and actually care about your answers.
But if your partner shows little to no interest in any of that, it’s not only disheartening but also means that they’re not as invested in you as you are in them.
If they never ask how your day was, don’t remember the things you told them, or seem distracted or bored when you talk, that’s a clear sign something’s off. It shows that they’re not emotionally present and that they take you for granted.
6. They Don’t Acknowledge Your Feelings
In a healthy relationship, both people listen to each other and try to understand how the other person feels, even if they don’t always agree. But if your partner constantly dismisses your feelings, avoids emotional or difficult conversations, or makes you feel like you’re being oversensitive and overreacting just for bringing up what bothers you, that’s a huge red flag.
If you open up about something that hurt you and they brush it off or turn it into a joke, it shows a clear lack of emotional respect. It shows they don’t care about how you feel or whether their actions are upsetting you — which is precisely what it means to be taken for granted.
6. They Make Decisions Without Consulting You First
In a relationship, both partners should feel involved and considered, especially when it comes to decisions that affect both of them. However, if your partner consistently makes plans, commitments, or significant life decisions without consulting you first, it shows a lack of respect and consideration.
For example, they make weekend plans to visit their parents or attend a family dinner without even checking your availability or asking if you want to go. It could also be major, life-altering decisions like buying a new house in a different city, making a big financial investment, or deciding which school your child will go to.
These are things that should be discussed and decided together. But if your partner doesn’t even consider your thoughts or opinions, it clearly shows they don’t see you as an equal — and that they’re taking you for granted.
7. You Always Feel Like You’re the One Compromising
Every relationship requires compromise, but when it’s always one-sided, it becomes emotionally draining. If you’re constantly the one adjusting your plans, letting things go, sacrificing your comfort for your partner’s sake, or doing things their way just to avoid arguments or keep the peace, that’s not balance.
That’s bending too much for someone who’s not even trying to meet you halfway.
For example, you change your plans for them, but they never do the same for you. You don’t want to do a certain thing or go to a certain place, but they still make you do it — because you don’t want to make them mad. This shows they take your flexibility for granted.
8. They Only Show Up When They Need Something
One of the most evident signs you’re being taken for granted is when your partner only comes close when they want something from you. Whether it’s emotional support, physical comfort, financial help, or just someone to vent to, they only reach out when it benefits them.
But otherwise, they remain aloof, distant, unreachable, and emotionally unavailable. They never make you feel important unless they need something from you. They don’t spend quality time or express love unless they’re expecting a favor in return.
This shows that they see your love and presence as something they can access whenever it’s convenient for them — not something they truly value or cherish.
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9. They’re Not Supportive When It Matters
One of the most hurtful ways someone can take you for granted is by not being there when you need them the most. For example, you’re going through a tough time emotionally, facing challenges at work, or simply feeling low, but they remain absent or simply ignore your feelings.
They don’t try to uplift you, make things better, or even listen to what’s bothering you and instead choose to stay distracted. This lack of concern speaks volumes about their feelings and priorities.
Final Thoughts:
Love should never feel one-sided. You deserve a partner who notices your effort, values your presence, and chooses you not just when it’s easy or convenient, but every single day.
If any of these signs feel familiar, it might be time to pause, reflect, and ask yourself — is this really the kind of love I want and deserve?