We all like to believe we know ourselves – what we want, how we act, what we bring to the table. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we are walking around with blind spots.
The truth is, being self-aware is not just about knowing your strengths. It’s also about noticing your triggers, your flaws, your negative patterns, and how you affect the people around you.
And if you think that’s a piece of cake, that becoming extremely self-aware is a comfortable journey, you’re wrong. It’s not always easy. Sometimes it means calling yourself out, becoming your biggest critic, scrutinizing your own negative behaviour (not in an unhealthy way, though).
But you have to be willing to look a little deeper into yourself. And that’s how you grow. That’s how you truly gain awareness about yourself.
So let’s talk about the signs, the ones we often overlook, that might be telling you, “hey, there is still work to do.”
1. You become defensive when someone gives you feedback
This happens to all of us, sometimes without us even realizing. When someone in our personal or professional circle tries to give us feedback, especially negative feedback, we go into defensive mode.
And before we even know it, we start giving long explanations or even start an argument.
It stings, right? Even when the other person is only trying to help you, your first instinct is to explain yourself or prove them wrong. You might even get a little irritated, and that escalates things.
But that’s exactly what we should NOT do. Let’s think of it this way…
When you become defensive and start giving explanations or arguing, it usually means something hit a nerve. Maybe it made you feel small or exposed something that you didn’t want to face.
Well, you’re not alone… we’ve all been there. In most of these situations, our goal is to protect ourselves and just dismiss what the other person says. But that’s not a healthy approach. Not at all.
Instead of acting defensive and getting irritated, why not look at things in a more positive way? If someone offers their feedback, take it. Use it to learn from your mistakes and do better next time.
Doing that shows you’re smart enough to hear someone out with an open mind and correct yourself if needed. Or maybe you just listen with respect, even if you don’t fully agree. That’s growth, too.
2. You talk more than you listen
This is a big sign that you might not be very self-aware — sometimes, not at all.
People who really know themselves and understand their strengths and weaknesses don’t talk just to fill the silence. They usually avoid unnecessary chatter because they know that’s not what smart and thoughtful people do.
Sometimes, without even realizing it, you find yourself doing most of the talking. You might think you’re being helpful by jumping in with advice or sharing your own experiences.
But if you’re always the one doing most of the talking, you could be missing what other people are really trying to say. And that’s not something emotionally mature or self-aware people do.
They listen attentively. They try to understand what the other person is saying and where they are coming from before they start responding. And when they reply, they do it thoughtfully. Not abruptly, just for the sake of responding.
So the next time you’re in a meaningful conversation with someone, try this — pause. Let the other person speak. You might be surprised how much you learn when you stop trying to steer the talk.
3. You assume your intentions are all that matter
It’s so easy to think that just because you didn’t mean any harm, everything should be okay. After all, your intentions were good, right?
But sometimes, that’s not enough. The other person might still get hurt, even if you didn’t mean to upset them.
Think about it like this: You crack a joke with a friend, just messing around, but they suddenly go quiet. You didn’t mean to offend them — you were just trying to be funny. But they get hurt anyway.
Or maybe you cancel on someone at the last minute because you’re overwhelmed, thinking they will understand, but they feel unimportant or like a second option. Or you give someone unsolicited advice thinking you’re being helpful, but they just don’t like it.
See, self-awareness means understanding that it’s not just about your side of the story. It’s also about how your words or actions land on someone else. You can have the best of intentions, but that doesn’t always match the impact.
And that’s okay. That’s part of learning. Part of growing.
Just because you didn’t mean to hurt someone doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. What really shows maturity is being able to say, “I get it, that was not my intention, but I see how it came across. I’ll be more mindful next time.”
That’s real self-awareness. Not being perfect — just being willing to understand, adjust, and do better.
4. You blame others for how you feel
We all do this. Literally, every single one of us. We find someone or something to blame for how we react, instead of taking full responsibility for our own feelings and choices.
Because let’s be honest, taking accountability is hard. It’s way easier to say, “They made me feel this way,” than to sit with our own emotions. You feel angry, hurt, or frustrated, and instantly, it’s someone else’s fault. Right?
But the truth is, your reactions come from you.
Whether they’re positive or negative, kind or bitter — they’re yours. You have a brain, a moral conscience, and the ability to pause and choose how to respond.
Let’s say someone ignores your message, and you instantly feel rejected or disrespected. Or a friend forgets to include you in plans, and now your entire mood shifts for the day.
Yes, it sucks. But does that give you a pass to lash out or carry bitterness all day? No. You’re still responsible for how you process those feelings.
You can’t keep blaming others for what’s going wrong in your life. That’s what weak people do — and the truth is, they rarely grow or succeed. They stay stuck in the same loop, feeling powerless and victimized.
Wise, self-aware people don’t blame others for how they feel. They take responsibility for their emotions, even when it’s uncomfortable. They know that pointing fingers does not fix anything, because at the end of the day, growth doesn’t come from blaming.
It comes from owning your part, learning from it, and doing better next time.
5. You avoid uncomfortable truths about yourself
Another significant sign that shows how truly self-aware someone is.
People who know themselves don’t hide behind fake masks — not even from themselves. They confront. And I personally believe that self-confrontation is way more difficult than confronting other people because you can’t abandon yourself. You have to live with yourself and your reality.
So, you keep running. Running away from facing your own truth. You notice certain things about yourself that you’re not proud of, like how you isolate yourself and stop talking to everyone, including your family, when things get tough.
Or how you snap at people when you’re stressed. And instead of holding yourself accountable, you laugh it off later or blame it on a bad day or a phase. Because honestly, it’s easier to ignore your own toxic behavior than to deal with it and fix it.
But real self-awareness is not about pretending your flaws don’t exist. It’s about sitting with those uncomfortable parts of yourself, even when you would rather not, and doing the hard work. On yourself. For yourself.
It’s hard, but it’s also the only way to truly grow.
Leave A Comment:
So, what do you think? How aware are you of yourself really? I want to hear your thoughts and experiences. Share them with me in the comments and let’s have an honest conversation.